| Hmmmm... Well yesterday was ok. Woke up, got ready and went and skated Lakewood. Tried long bank again. Stuck it like 15 times. I was really hurtin by then  so I stopped. Skated easy for the rest of the day. Came home. Slept. Then today the new semester started. Heh I was so happy that I passed geometry 1... I don't have to take it next year AGAIN (like i thought i had to). Got some ok new classes. Havn't been to the blue day ones yet... hope they are good.  |
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| Hmmmm... Well yesterday was ok. Woke up, got ready and went and skated Lakewood. Tried long bank again. Stuck it like 15 times. I was really hurtin by then so I stopped. Skated easy for the rest of the day. Came home. Slept. Then today the new semester started. Heh I was so happy that I passed geometry 1... I don't have to take it next year AGAIN (like i thought i had to). Got some ok new classes. Havn't been to the blue day ones yet... hope they are good. |
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| The past 2 days have been really good... I've just been in a very peaceful mood. I got to skate again today. It was so good to skate again. Ollied Fred Meyers gap again, 6th try. That felt great. Now i'm home and I'm just online writing in this. |
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I feel almost like I've become soft inside; like everything I've struggled so hard to become is going to waste and I'm just getting worse and worse. The time that once would of been spent skating is now spent sleeping or doing nothing. I can't seem to work towards anything now. It's like I've lost motivation to get better and have slumped to lower and lower standards of myself. I need to catch myself before this goes too far. I need to work for something. Skating was my driving force before, but now its seems that I can't even push myself at that anymore. Without that drive, it only gets harder. And guess what happens just when I realize this... it rains. |
I posted that like 4 months ago, and I feel the same right now except ten times worse. I don't think I've ever been this depressed. I read through my past entries and think "Why can't I be happy like that anymore?"
Then I notice a pattern. As I started to drink more, things got worse. I think its time to quit. When I drink, I can't just drink a little. I have to drink till im wasted. |
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| Man i was soooooooooo drunk last night... So much weird shit happened i guess i dont remember it but people told me about it. |
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